mr miss/

The pictures are spectacular, love the functionality of facebook. A simple archive of photos and more significantly the emotions infront and behind the lens.

I miss the rigor and adrenaline of the convention. I miss the disappointment, I miss the sweat and tears. I miss it all; 

I miss the anticipation of waking up. I miss the anticipation of being able to go to sleep. 

I miss the sense of fulfillment. I miss the sense of responsibility. I miss the sense of self actualization.

I miss the pre-convention. I miss the infosheets. I miss the meetings. I miss the GMs. I miss the zamming. I miss being zammed. I miss zamming others (in a sense). I miss the highing, I miss the crying. I miss the late nights. I miss the humid weather at night. I miss the uncomfortable feeling during meeting coz of the stupid lower sec uniform (lol). I miss bringing my laptop for slc to school. I miss skipping lunch to do slc stuff. I miss going to poolside to meet people whom I truly miss. I miss running for meetings. I miss being late for meetings. I miss being early for meetings. I miss being angsty before meetings. I miss being in aphelion room before meetings. I miss having someone buy bread for me before GMs.

I miss dragging ourselves to tracy’s house, I miss cabbing back all the way to the other end of Singapore. I miss being ridiculously tired. I miss being ridiculously high during gf.

I miss the participants, or perhaps the fact that there were participants. I miss being a chair. I miss having to roam around without a head fac, and with one the year after. I miss just sitting along the stair case being tired and wondering how I’ll survive chairing an actual meeting. I miss how I called caleb early in the morning to borrow a laptop for the meeting. I miss how I ended up passing around the awkward baby joke to ease the tension. I miss skipping lunch, rushing to get the action papers. I miss cheering and bombing during the phototaking in 16, i miss dwelling in regret and remorse during phototaking in 17. 

I miss waking up, I miss the instances where I actually ate breakfast before I went to school. I miss having only 1 set of uniform for the 4 days and having 4 sets the very next year. I miss being all sweaty and aching all over. I miss wearing a blazer and roaming the school.

I miss chairing a meeting. I miss how my shoes got soaked as I went for the budget allocation  meeting. I miss how I apparently chaired in a very “low” voice. I miss how I fumble with the numbers and lacked organization. I miss telling people to stop texting during the meeting. I miss challenging the participants to tell me a joke so that I would laugh. I miss how I actually laughed to a “what do you call throwing butter out a window?  a butter fly” joke (wtp right!) 

I miss grandfinale. I miss jumping around being crazy. I miss being crazy. I miss making the participants crazy. I miss seeing friends become crazy. I miss the crazy atmosphere. I miss the OT dance(s). I miss how I could never get it right. I miss the montages. I miss actually crying while watching the montages on stage.

I miss crying. I miss seeing everyone cry. I miss everyone. I miss the moment. I miss the convention. I miss slc. 

(please)don’t forget.

an extract of something I swear is overly underrated. 

SLC, I know, I cant rewind
But if fate permits
Let us cross paths some time
Hopefully well remember 
Each other and ask,
Who are we?

316&   317

edit: I miss persuading juniors to join slc (: Not saying I would neither saying I wouldn’t anymore. 

Dreamt that it was the end of the world//

Hope it really is

unexplained failure ):

Everything seems to be going out of control. (well it never was to begin with)

Nobody wants to be a failure. Yet, you make it seem that we strive for failure. Can you not understand that we are trying, that I am trying? 

The term’s had been going pretty well, till this week. Project’s Day and HRP - Stagnating… Grades - Deteriorating. 

It’s amusing, an A1 for math no longer brings me any joy. (Who knows, I may end up failing the next test) 

I studied and at that moment it seemed like everything was in control, but in retrospect, I didn’t study hard enough. Then again, it’s always easier to say that “i didn’t study hard enough”. Honestly, I’m pretty demoralized ):

Having said that, I’ll just try again. (but second chances don’t always exist)